Introductions & Distance
by Grnigirl
Summary: Jane returns to the team after her arrest, bringing a new friend and a lot of baggage, to help take down the organization that killed Mayfair. Weller tries to find a way back to her before she disappears forever.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Blindspot or its characters. I just enjoy playing with them.**

Roman and Jane join Weller and the team to bring down the organization, but the Jeller relationship isn't healed from all it's been through.

 **Introductions**

Weller paused as he walked toward the steel door, trying to control his emotions. He opened the door and quickly walked in to Interrogation 2 at the FBI's NYO.

He looked at the man sitting at the table, calmly waiting for him. Roman was there of his own free will.

Jane had insisted- if the FBI wanted her help, Roman was part of the team. Although he hated it, Weller knew he needed them to destroy the organization they'd both been part of.

He knew Roman had ties to _the organization_ and to Jane's past, but he also knew there was a lot he _didn't_ know. Roman was a ghost, just like Jane - no record, no prints or DNA on file, and while it was clear he was there for Jane, the exact nature of their relationship wasn't. It made Weller's skin crawl.

Roman didn't trust the FBI or any of its agents, and he certainly didn't trust them with _her_.

Weller started with the basics - "Please state your full name for the record."

"You can call me Roman" he replied casually, without looking up.

"You know I'm the Assistant Director of -" Weller started to reply before Roman interrupted "and _you_ know that I can disappear just as quickly as I appeared" he said, looking coolly in Weller's eyes "So you can call me Roman, and we can skip the bullshit."

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here for Jane." he said, her name catching uncomfortably on his tongue as he said it. "While she's here, I'm here. And when she's gone, I'm gone. I'm here to keep her safe."

Weller didn't like the insinuation, "the FBI can keep its assets safe" he said, his voice turning a bit sharper. Roman scoffed "I've seen you keep her _safe."_ he said, "and I've seen what you do, when you're done with _your asset_ " he said, his voice growing stronger, but still calm. "So I'll say it again, I'm here to keep her safe."

Weller paused, and wondered for perhaps the millionth time today, if this was a good idea.

 **Jane**

After the arrest _(after he had arrested her)_ , Jane had been transferred out of the NYO FBI's jurisdiction. Weller knew he couldn't be anything close to objective with her, and OK'd the transfer. And while he'd tried to block her out of his thoughts _(tried…)_ , he hadn't stopped researching Orion, Daylight…. and Mayfair. The team continued to uncover information about all three, plus the secret organization to which Jane had belonged.

There was still a lot to learn, but they knew enough to suspect Jane had also been a victim in all of it. And they'd been hitting walls in their work when Jane mysteriously returned.

Weller hadn't seen Jane for over three months when she showed up behind him, her gun pressed to the back of his head. He felt her before he saw her ( _he always did_ ), but what he saw when he turned around took his breath away. It was still Jane, _God she was beautiful,_ but her eyes had a cold and hardened edge. It was a look he'd seen too many times as an agent, the look of someone with nothing to lose. Instead of the warm calm he normally felt with Jane, he shuddered from the cold shiver than ran down his spine. _How did she get here, and w_ _hat the hell was going on?_

Somehow, they had agreed to work together to bring down the organization that killed Mayfair and did this to Jane. Weller received FBI approval to move forward, and Jane agreed to participate if Roman was also included. Jane and Weller never spoke about what happened in the preceding months, there was too much between them and neither knew what to say. Instead, they stayed behind their respective walls, silently suffering.

Jane knew she wasn't part of the team, and wasn't willing to risk her safety with them. She could handle herself, and with Roman there, she felt safe enough. But Jane never forgot the team – and Weller - had discarded her without a second thought when they learned just the tip of the iceberg about her. That knowledge was like a fresh wound to her already broken heart each and every time she looked at them.

 **In the Field**

They'd been in the field for two weeks. Jane, Roman, Reade, Zapata and Weller were following leads and tracking down criminals. They were remarkably successful, but it was dangerous work. And Weller was having a hard time keeping his mind on the job. _How was he supposed to focus when she was right there? He knew they needed to talk, but he just didn't know how._

 _Had this all been a terrible mistake?_

Jane remained aloof with all of them, barely speaking except to share tactical advice. The team was no warmer to her, there were too many questions, and it was easier to maintain the distance.

And no one knew what to think of Roman.

They all saw how the he was with Jane, and wondered what it was between the two of them.

It was clear Roman trusted Jane and that she was _someone important_ to him. Jane's feelings for him seemed less clear, although reading her was almost impossible these days. Roman followed Jane's lead without question- always looking out for her. His eyes carefully surveyed everything when he was with her - searching for risks, enemies, anything that could be her undoing. But it was more than that. He seemed to be tuned in to what Jane needed emotionally as well. They all saw how gentle he could be with her, but no one noticed it as much as Weller.

One day, they were following a suspect when things went sideways. Weller watched as Roman stepped in front of Jane, covering her, before jumping into action. It was like a punch to his gut when he recognized the action from earlier that day, when Weller had approached Jane to talk to her. He realized Roman was protecting Jane from danger, and he was _protecting her_ _from him._

 _Did Jane need to be protected from him? Weller felt like throwing up. He realized that before this, in the midst of his rage and panic over Taylor, he'd pointed a gun at her head and refused to even let her speak. And sent her to jail... After all they'd been through, and all the assurances he'd offered her, he had turned on her in the worst possible way. Maybe she did need to protect herself from him…._ He thought of Roman and Jane together and it made his gut ache, but he wasn't sure how much of it was guilt and how much was something else _._

He still couldn't define the emotions he experienced when she was near; it was like nothing he'd ever known, but he knew watching her with Roman made him want to punch something.

 **What You Did**

Back at the office, Weller decided he'd had enough. He couldn't stand seeing Jane like this, and couldn't stand the guilt he felt; he needed to talk to her. He couldn't watch her in the field day after day, putting her life at risk, acting like a mercenary that meant nothing to the team. It was like she didn't think she deserved to be there, and Weller couldn't shake the feeling she could disappear at any moment, never to be seen again. He knew he needed to start working through things with her.

He was looking for Jane when he ran into Roman.

Weller asked him if he knew where Jane was, and Roman just looked at him and scoffed. He shook his head and kept walking. Weller knew he should ignore it, but something in him just snapped. For weeks he'd watched Roman judge him, and act like all of them were beneath him. Everyone except Jane. "No problem, I'll find her" Weller said, and then, deciding to push, "I know Jane pretty well…" he mentioned. With that, Roman stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face Weller.

"Do you?" Roman asked, "I doubt that. Because I can tell you don't trust her. And if you knew her at all, especially after all she's been through, and all she's done for you, you would. You don't know her at all, and you don't deserve to."

Weller's temper flared, _all she's done for me - just what was this guy talking about, and what exactly had Jane been through?_

But Weller didn't trust Roman, and was sick of him having the upper hand. He wanted to get under his skin, and before he could stop himself, Weller added "we've spent weekends getting to know each other, so I know a thing or two. It's nice to have her back."

So far, Roman had been cool, slightly detached, and seemingly immune to the rest of the team. But when he looked at Weller, there was no mistaking the hatred and anger in his stare. "Don't try to tell me you're sleeping with her, because I know she wouldn't do that."

Weller was trying to regain control "and how do you know that?" he asked.

Roman looked Weller directly in the eyes, paused, and took a moment to look him up and down, before continuing slowly, his face close to Weller and voice low "because if you were sleeping with her, you'd see her body.

And you'd see the cuts.

And the burns.

And the bruises that don't heal."

He noticed the Assistant Director hadn't blinked and hadn't taken a breath, so he continued, leaning just slightly closer.

"You'd see all the marks that weren't there when she crawled out of that bag with _your_ name on her back, asking for _your_ help. You'd see all the marks that weren't there before you arrested her, and left her _for them_."

Weller's ears were burning and he thought his throat might actually close. But Roman wasn't done.

"And if you were sleeping with her, you would have spent the night" _(of course he would)._

"And you would have seen how she fights sleep because she can't control the nightmares.

And you would have heard her scream, the way she does every night, when she remembers, and tries to keep fighting."

Roman paused and leaned back, looking Weller right in the eyes, "and I know _her_ , and I know she'd never allow any of that. She'd never allow you to suffer. That's how I know."

As Weller tried to catch his breath, Roman continued "Assistant Director Weller, if you heard her scream, even once, you'd know why I was here. She trusted you, she put her life in your hands, and she learned her lesson. As I've told you, I'm here to keep her safe, and that means keeping her safe from you as much as any other threat. Believe me; Jane has learned never to trust anyone. She's been taught that lesson her whole damn life."

And with that, Roman shook his head angrily, turned around and walked away, leaving Kurt to absorb what he had just heard.


	2. Chapter 2: First Steps

Introductions & Distance - Chapter 2

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Blindspot or its characters; I just enjoy playing with them.**

 **First Steps**

Weller was still reeling from his conversation with Roman when he found Jane alone in the locker room; she was almost never there anymore, and was just grabbing her coat when Kurt walked in, his face flushed and eyes clouded.

Weller knew he needed to get his thoughts together, but he also needed to see Jane. He needed to look in her eyes, and he needed to feel her, to be near her after what he just heard. He didn't know exactly what Roman was talking about, but he knew he could no longer maintain the status quo - the painful silence and the distance between them. He couldn't stand the thought of her thinking she needing protection from him.

 _Did she really think she needed that_? Kurt had spent his entire career - his whole life, really - protecting people, and it killed him to think of himself as being a danger to her. Jesus, to any woman, but especially her… _Jane_.

He approached her slowly, not sure exactly what he was intending to say. They had months of unspoken conversations and there were really no words, and he knew he had to be careful not to scare her off.

He sat down on the bench beside her, his shoulders slumped, elbows on his knees. He started bouncing his leg nervously but quickly stopped himself. "Hey" he said, smiling gently. She busied herself putting a few things away in her locker and replied without turning "hey." _Well this is going well,_ he thought to himself. Weller looked at Jane, really looked at her, for the first time in months. He saw the tension in her shoulders and her face (rolling off her, really), he noticed she was thinner, and didn't move in quite the same way she had. He couldn't see her eyes, but he remembered the dark circles and the look he'd seen in them over the last few weeks.

 _Could Roman have been telling the truth?_

Weller was a highly trained FBI agent, whose job it was to read people and notice all the details around him, and it had taken him until now to notice this, to notice this _about her_. He knew why of course- he'd been avoiding her, trying to keep her away, and he also knew it was useless.

Jane glanced over her shoulder awkwardly, wondering what he was doing, and why he was there. _What was he looking at_? She felt a moment of panic and the need to flee - she was no more prepared to talk with him, and worse, she'd been caught off guard. She quickly shut her locker and started to turn to leave when he interrupted her escape, "Jane," he said, reaching out to touch her arm, but stopping just short of actually touching her, "um, I just wanted to let you know it's… it's nice to have you back with us. I'm sure it's not easy for you to be here, and I know we haven't made it any easier…" He stood up next to her, leaning against the locker. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable, so he left a fair distance between them. Way more distance than he wanted, after what he'd just heard."It's been a long day, and I know neither of us has eaten, do you want to grab something?"She looked at him in surprise and confusion, not sure how to react or what to do. _This is the man that turned his back on me and allowed me to be tortured for three months, and now he wants to grab a bite?_ she thought in disgust.

Kurt watched her reaction, and immediately regretted the invitation. Her face went quickly from panic, to anxiety, to fear, to surprise, and ended up with a look of shock and maybe even anger. _These were not the emotions he was hoping for…_ "um, sorry, I can't" she said flatly, not even offering an excuse.

But she couldn't help herself, and turned to look directly at him, really looking at him for the first time since she returned. Despite all she'd been through, and the incredible gulf between them right now, she still felt the electricity between them, and the emotion of what he had been to her. She felt overwhelmed again; overwhelmed by all she'd lost, by the pain of what she'd been though, and the anger she felt about her life- all that she'd given up, and how little she had left. But despite all that, she couldn't look away, not yet.

She looked in his eyes, and saw the swirl of his emotions and pain, and the demons he had fought his entire life. And she saw how raw he was… and she could feel that he was overwhelmed too, as she watched him stand there silently, looking at her. Without thinking about it, she took a small step closer and she saw one other thing in his eyes… was it hope?

She turned away quickly, ending the moment, and smiled- just slightly, but he saw it- as she glanced back at him. "See you tomorrow?" she asked as she picked up her coat and turned to leave. Kurt put his hands in his pockets and said "yeah" with a nod as he leaned back against the lockers, trying to smile. "Goodnight Jane" he added softly as the door closed behind her.

And with that, Kurt Weller forgot about food and walked quickly back to his office to process the events of the day, collect his thoughts, and make a plan. He was going to find out exactly what had happened to Jane, and make things right. Nothing about Jane Doe had been easy so far, and he certainly didn't expect this to be.

And as he walked, he felt some of the pain he'd been carrying with him begin to lift, and for the first time in months, both his head and his gut told him he was doing the right thing.

Please let me know what you like about the story, characters, or my writing (good or bad, they both help me improve my writing)! Thanks for your help!


	3. Chapter 3: Angry

_**DISCLAIMER** : I do not own Blindspot or any of its characters. I just enjoy playing with them. _

_In this chapter, we're taking a bit of a detour, and certainly headed to a different place than the current Blindspot promos (can't wait for Season 2 to start!). I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Anger**

Kurt Weller had been angry for three months. Dr. Borden would be pleased that after all their sessions he could finally say it.

Kurt was angry. Very angry.

He was angry at Jane.

He was angry that she lied. And he was angry that she played him.

He was angry at himself, for the way he handled things with her the night he arrested her. And for cutting her loose. And he was angry that he never got any answers, any closure.

He was angry at his dad. Wow, was he angry at his dad.

He may or may not have been angry that he was dead.

He was angry that his gut had been wrong, when he'd never been so certain about anything in his life; he was always sure about Jane.

And he was angry that he had fallen in love with her.

And he was angry at all he lost. And he was angry at his empty life. And he was angry that he was angry.

And he was angry that after all this time being angry, he didn't feel any better. And it hadn't solved anything.

As the months passed, besides being angry, he also started to feel something else - uneasy might be the best description - about Jane and her case. That led to a curiosity, as much as he willed himself to ignore it. And now he couldn't ignore what he saw and what he heard.

Roman's words rang through Weller's head.

… _you'd see the cuts. And the burns. And the bruises… You'd see all the marks that weren't there before_ _you_ _arrested her, and left her_ for them… _and you'd hear her scream._

He didn't trust Roman, but something about what he said and the way he said it left Weller cold. He knew he needed to find the truth, whatever that was, and he needed to find it himself. And frankly, he needed to stop hiding, and stop being afraid.

He decided to start with the more recent questions: where had Jane been, and how did she end up pointing a gun to his head?

He walked to Patterson's lab for help.

* * *

 **Where Was Jane?**

When he arrived, he found only Zapata and two members of Patterson's team. "Hey boss, what's up?" asked Zapata as she saw him. "Is Patterson here?" he asked, dodging the question. "Yeah, I think she just stepped out. Can I help you with something while she's out?"

Weller paused, not sure he wanted to explain himself to Zapata. The whole team felt betrayed by Jane, but Zapata was not only betrayed, she was also fiercely protective of Kurt. And that meant she was even more guarded against Jane.

He started to tell her to send Patterson to his office when she got back, but just as he turned to go, he stopped. He turned slowly and asked, "Zapata, do you know where Jane was held before we found her?" Kurt knew the team had been working on all facets of the Orion and Daylight cases, and it was possible they had tracked Jane as well without mentioning it to him. Zapata's back stiffened when she heard the question, "no, I assume based on her history she was in maximum security somewhere, but I never looked. Why?" she asked, eyes narrowing, and honing in on Weller's face. _Something was definitely off_ she thought. "Something Roman said…" he replied, trailing off, looking away from her. "Can you ask Patterson to come find me when she gets back?" he asked, turning back to her. "Sure, but I can start looking right now if you want, I'm just waiting for test results, and until they come back I'm just sitting here. I'll pull it up and let you know" she said. Zapata was happy to help, and if there was something going on with Jane, she wanted to know anyway. "Thanks Zapata, let me know what you find." he answered.

Kurt returned to his office to try to make sense of what he knew. The more he allowed himself to think about it, the more he realized the pieces just weren't fitting together. Jane was different since returning, and not just the distance she maintained from the team. Roman was a complete unknown. Carter's murder and Mayfair's disappearances still weren't fully explained. Nothing about the Jane Doe case ever made sense. And a detail that always bothered him about Jane - why had she allowed herself to be arrested without even putting up a fight? If she was truly just a mole, why didn't she try to escape? Once he allowed himself to start asking questions about Jane, it was like the flood gates opened. They were no closer to understanding the enigma that was Jane Doe than when she first arrived in Time Square.

An hour later, when Kurt still hadn't heard anything from Zapata or Patterson, he decided to take a break from the endless questions in his head and walk back to the lab. When he did, he saw both women working furiously, perplexed looks on their faces and the rest of the lab team seemingly scurrying around. "Hey Zapata, sorry to interrupt, but did you have any luck with the research we discussed?" Kurt was very much hoping it was a simple answer, and all this activity was related to another case. Zapata turned, surprised to see him standing there. "Not yet, but you're gonna want to see this" she said. Patterson joined them as the two walked Kurt through what they had so far.

Zapata started, "Jane was originally transferred to the Philadelphia FBI branch office, as we know. But then something interesting happens. Six days after she was transferred to Philadelphia- and we have proof she made it to Philly" she added "-she seems to have disappeared from a super max prison." Patterson continued, "her name just disappears from prison records, but there's no record of her being transferred, no sign of any medical issue, no entry in her FBI file… she just disappears. We're pulling surveillance from the prison to see if we can find anything, but that's not going to be quick even if it does still exist. I'm also checking a few other databases and records to see what I can find…." Patterson stopped the discussion and added "Weller, I don't need to tell you, this is highly unusual."

Weller felt his stomach drop, Roman's words running through his mind " _before_ _you_ _arrested her, and left her_ for them _..._

"So where'd she go, Patterson?"

"We're still trying to figure that part out, but from what I can see now, she spent three months somewhere outside the federal penitentiary system, unless they buried her somewhere within the system under a different alias. We're researching what happened in Philly and will let you know what we find." Both Patterson and Zapata looked at Weller, expecting him to leave but watching him stand frozen in place. Patterson walked over to him, gently placing a hand on his arm and asked "do you have any idea where we should look next, Weller?"

Weller was still frozen. _He didn't trust Roman – didn't trust him at all – but his words, and his eyes when he said them, and what he'd seen of Jane since she'd returned…_ "Keep looking for aliases in the same prison, hopefully that's it" he said. Weller looked down, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he looked back up and continued, not making eye contact with either of them "and if you don't find her that way, look outside the FBI. We all know Jane's tattoos implicated people at the highest levels of the government, and she was a risk to more than one agency."

Patterson and Zapata both nodded after a quick look at Weller, absorbing what he said. _Where had Jane been?_ They both turned back to their computers and started working without saying another word. Weller turned around and walked back to his office, as anxiety enveloping him.

* * *

 **Angry Too**

Jane was angry.

She was always angry, and she was angry that she had to bury her anger for at least 12 hours a day.

She was angry at herself and what she'd done.

She was angry at Kurt.

She was angry that he lied to her, telling her he believed in her and that he'd keep her safe. She was angry that he pointed a gun at her.

And she was angry that he sent her to hell.

She was angry at her old self, for this whole stupid plan she'd been messed up in.

And she was angry at the organization threatening her and her team to get what they wanted. She was angry about everything they did.

And she was angry at the CIA. Wow, was she angry at them.

And she may or may not have been angry that she had to kill two agents to get out of that hell.

And she was angry at all she had lost. Two lifetimes so far, and a future wasn't looking so good.

And she was angry that she couldn't sleep.

And she was angry that all she felt was anger. Except when she was around Kurt. And she was angry at herself for feeling anything but anger around him.

She decided to head down to the FBI gym to let off some steam. It was one of the only places she felt comfortable these days, so she sent a text to Roman in case he wanted to meet her.

She'd been down there about an hour so far; the pain she inflicted on her body was one of the only things that felt good, felt like a release. She never stopped and she never rested, and the more she beat the hell out of her body the better she felt. She didn't notice when Weller walked in, ready to let off some steam of his own, starting his own workout on the other side of the room.

Weller had seen people workout hard. He'd seen grown men run until they threw up, and people train until they passed out from exhaustion. But he'd never seen anyone punish themselves like what he saw Jane doing. He watched in horror as she kept going, faster, harder, more; her exhaustion only seeming to increase her ruthlessness. He was trying not to watch, as were the others in the gym that day, but couldn't look away. He was just about to step in, although he knew she wouldn't like it, when Roman walked in, walking around in front of her. _Smart_ , thought Kurt, _better not surprise her_. Roman offered a gentle wave and a kind smile, and Jane slowed down and stepped away from her workout. Roman wrapped her in his arms and said something in her ear, and held her for just a moment before grabbing her water and handing it to her. Weller watched all of this, and although he didn't like anything about Roman, he was suddenly glad he was there. That he was there for Jane. Weller returned to his workout and tried to focus on anything other than Jane.

Before long, his attention was once again drawn to Roman and Jane. They were sparring, and he was curious. Roman was clearly well trained, using maneuvers from at least as many different types of martial arts as Jane. But there were other things that caught his eye. Kurt noticed Jane didn't move quite the way she used to, but he couldn't figure out what was different. And he noticed that no matter what, Roman never hit her torso, which was usually fair game. He would attack her legs and arms, but never her torso. It wasn't mutual; she was landing a number of blows to his ….

Once again, Weller remembered Roman's words.

 _And you would see her body. And you'd see the cuts, and the burns, and the bruises._

Weller once again felt his blood run cold. He showered quickly and returned to the lab to see if there were any updates.

* * *

 **Back at the Lab**

Weller walked into the lab, hoping for good news. "Hey guys. Any updates?" he asked. Zapata and Patterson jumped at his voice and the interruption. They looked at each other, then slowly to Weller. Patterson started "Weller, we have some information but don't have all the answers." Zapata added, "let us do a little more work and follow up when we can tell you more, OK?" Weller knew this wasn't good, "what do you have?" he asked. Patterson and Zapata looked at each other once more, and Patterson gave him a sorry smile before she continued.

"Well, Jane had only two visitors before she disappeared from Philly. The first is FBI agent Jill Thompson. She's listed at the case officer, but she went on medical leave two days after her visit." Zapata jumps in "we're still trying to locate agent Thompson." Patterson continued, "the second visitor is more concerning. He arrives on day six –the same day Jane disappears. His name is Chris Atto, and the visitor record doesn't indicate he's with any federal agency or other organization." Zapata adds, "We know Jane, and we've never heard her mention this name." she says, perplexed. "Clearly there was a lot we didn't know about Jane" Weller adds. "True" says Patterson, "but Mr. Atto's visit is also highly irregular. She doesn't meet with him in the normal visitor's wing, and there's no record of her transferring back to isolation after her meeting. This is where the trail runs dark." Zapata continues, "Atto's not FBI, but Patterson may have found him in a Federal database." Weller looked at Patterson, "you have Atto?" he asked slowly. Patterson looked at Weller and gave a single nod. "Where?" asked Weller. Patterson swallowed and said nervously "CIA, highly restricted access on this one, I should add."

Weller nodded, using all his energy to control his outward reaction to this news _. SHIT_ he thought. "So a high level CIA operative was the last person to meet with her, approximately six days after she was arrested, and the same day she disappeared. Her case agent disappears at the same time, and the FBI just lets the most important case we've ever had go dark?"

Patterson smiled worriedly, "as I said, we're still working on it, but yeah, that's what we know so far."

Weller felt sick even considering the words he was about to speak, but he said them anyway, "Patterson, is it possible she was moved to a CIA black site?" Both Patterson and Zapata turned to him, mouths open. Zapata was the first to respond "CIA doesn't operate on US…" she started to say, before she remembered the CIA black site they uncovered thanks to one of Jane's tattoos. Patterson quickly asked "do you think that's possible?" She saw the look on his face, and knew the answer before he spoke. He nodded his head while he closed his eyes, "anything's possible."

Patterson and Zapata stared at him for just a moment, again absorbing the implications of what Weller had just said. Zapata regained composure first and responded, "we'll keep looking, and let you know what we find."

Kurt nodded and left quickly, walking back to his office. He held his breath the entire walk, and exhaled a single ragged breath as he collapsed at his desk, behind his closed door. He already knew what they'd find, and wondered how he would ever make this right.

And he was angry.

At all they had endured, and all that he knew they were going to have to endure.

And he was angry that his damn heart was still in love with her.

And he hoped he would be able to figure this all out before she destroyed herself or disappeared again.

And he knew that although none of this was going to be easy, he was on the right path for the first time in months.

* * *

 _Thanks for reading - I hope you're enjoying the story!_

 _Please give me your feedback in reviews or PM. Thank you!_


	4. Chapter 4: Research & Conversation

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Blindspot or any of its characters._

 _I apologize, this chapter has a lot of detail and a lot of feels - hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

He'd been in his office for 30 minutes, pacing the whole time. Weller was waiting for news from the lab, which he didn't expect to be good. He paced because he knew if he sat down the electricity inside him would surely spark into something uglier, and he needed to keep himself together.

He remembered this feeling, this sense of dread tied to an unknown. It was exactly how he felt right before he dug up that little girl's body three months ago. It was a feeling he'd happily avoid for the rest of his life.

But Weller didn't seem to have that kind of luck.

It was a relief, a welcome distraction, when he heard a knock at his door. Reade poked his head in with a cautious smile. "Hey Weller, I was just down at the lab… Zapata told me what they're working on" he said, trying to find the right words. "I'm sure they'll find where she was" he added, optimistically.

Reade walked in and closed the door behind him, then cleared his throat "do you remember that case we had last year, where CIA needed our help with that extortion and trafficking case?" Weller looked up and nodded, wondering where he was going with this, "the agent I worked with really had a pulse on things within the agency, and I trust her. Want me to reach out to her, see if she knows anything?" Weller nodded his head, "yeah, thanks Reade, that's a good idea" he said. "I'll let you know what I find" he said as he left.

Weller didn't have to say that he hoped it was a waste of time; that it was just a record keeping error and Jane was in Philadelphia with the FBI the whole time. Because both Reade and Weller knew what it meant if she had been in CIA custody, off the books.

And although neither would admit it, both knew that it wasn't going to be a record keeping error, because nothing with Jane Doe was ever that simple.

* * *

 **In the Lab**

It had been almost two hours since Weller had been to the lab. Two hours of pacing and thinking and worrying when Zapata finally called him and told him to come down. She was suspicious he'd already been on his way based on how quickly he got there, but she decided not to ask. There were more important things to discuss.

Patterson started, "Ok, well, we have a few updates. We still have no record of Jane being transferred or leaving the prison, and no video showing it. But I think we can rule out Jane staying there, even using an alias. There are no inmate changes on the day she disappeared – no new inmates and no one released." Tasha interjected, "I mean, it's pretty rare that anyone's released from that prison," before realizing she probably wasn't helping. "Sorry" she added. Patterson continued, "which means all inmates are accounted for except Jane.

So, we don't have proof, but the evidence indicates she left the prison."

"Now let's talk about Atto" Zapata said, glancing at Kurt to gauge his state of mind. She was relieved to see he was focused and mostly calm, at least by Weller standards, at least by Weller standards _when it involved Jane_. We did some more digging regarding their visit," she said, as Patterson put a blueprint on the screen, and continued. "Normally, visitors are only allowed in this wing, which requires visitors have to go through these checkpoints here, here, and here" she said pointing to the screen. "But Jane's visit was in the east wing, probably this room here" she said pointing to the other side of the screen. Weller looked for just a second and said, "only place in the building with a single check to an exit?" Patterson smiled appreciatively, nodding. "If she was removed, this way would require the fewest insiders." "Is that a road?" asked Weller. "Good catch" said Patterson nodding, "yes, and it's used for most deliveries – food, laundry, other supplies – so that could be their route out" she added, turning back to face Weller.

"Weller, we don't have proof, but if I was betting…" Patterson said, arching her eyebrows. Zapata interrupted, "Weller, I'd bet a month's salary CIA removed her."

He paused, "any idea where they would have taken her?" he asked, reluctantly, trying to stay focused. Patterson responded, gently "if it was CIA… I don't have that kind of clearance." "But," Zapata said slowly, "we do have one idea, Weller. There was an incident three weeks ago that left two CIA agents dead and three in the hospital. It was reported as a training accident, but Weller, when was the last time you heard of a CIA training accident in Gouldsboro, PA?" She looked at Weller, "sounds like Jane, doesn't it?"

Patterson added quietly, "but that would mean she spent almost three months in CIA custody, Weller." She didn't say anything else, she didn't have to, but her eyes glistened with tears as she imagined what Jane could have been through in that time if they were right.

Weller simply clenched his jaw and nodded. "Thanks guys," he said brusquely, "let's see what Reade finds."

They all nodded as Weller turned to walk back to his office.

* * *

 **Reade's Lead**

Reade returned shortly after, and found Weller pacing in his office. He couldn't help but chuckle, thinking _this man is really not made for a desk job_. He closed the door behind him as he entered. "Any luck?" asked Weller hopefully. But that hope quickly disappeared when he saw the look on Reade's face. "Not exactly, but my contact definitely knew something she couldn't share" Reade said thoughtfully. "Weller, she's been pretty open in the past, and she owes me, this is something from pretty high up" he said, narrowing his eyes and slowly shaking his head.

"Like CIA secretly removing someone from a federal prison?" Weller asked, "or using a black site, probably on US soil, to interrogate an FBI asset?" He continued, voice shaking slightly. "Or the methods that might have been used if an interrogation subject refused to answer their questions, if she didn't have the answers they wanted…." Reade could feel the pain in his voice, and the tension rolling off him, and could only imagine what he was going through right now. "Weller," Reade said softly, putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder, "I don't know man, but there was definitely something, and it involved Jane. I'm sorry."

Reade stayed for a minute, but with nothing else to say, he gave Kurt a pat on the shoulder and left quietly, closing the door behind him.

* * *

 **Talk**

It was late and Jane was just about to head home when Weller found her in the bullpen. It had been a long day; they were all long days. She only did it because she needed to clean up the damn mess she'd made. Both what she – Jane – and _she_ , the woman she was before, had made.

Jane was just thinking about that woman, and what her life must have been, when she heard Weller's voice from behind her. She sighed, wondering what he wanted. He had almost completely avoided her since he approached her in the locker room; she hated the unpredictability of their interactions these days, and tried to just avoid him instead. She braced herself for another awkward and unwanted conversation.

Weller could see from her body language she wanted nothing to do with him, and he might have chuckled about it another day. But he was dreading this conversation. He'd tried to think of ways to ask, to start it, but nothing seemed to soften what he was about to do.

"Hey Jane" he said as he approached, a small, tense smile on his face. He was doing his best to be friendly. "Can I speak with you, my office?" It was more an order than a request, although he didn't intend it to sound that way. Jane nodded and reluctantly walked with him to his office, staying two steps behind and looking down most of the way.

When they arrived, he held the door for her, then offered her a seat as he closed the door behind them. She ignored him and asked "what can I do for you Weller?" as she leaned on the corner of his desk, crossing her arms over her chest. He tried to help her relax by starting gently, "Jane, how are things going in the field, are you doing OK?" "I'm fine, we're making progress and should have some solid updates by next week" she said, starting to stand, as if that was all he wanted. She knew him better than that though, and knew that wasn't all he wanted. He nodded, obviously trying to figure out what to say next.

She started to walk toward the door, hoping to get back to her solitude, but he reached for her, "no… um" stopping her before she walked past. "What do you really want Weller?" she asked flatly. She was too tired to mess around tonight, and just wanted to get out of there. Out of all of this, really.

Kurt smiled softly as he looked at her, his blue eyes clear. "Jane…" he said softly, "we've been doing some research, and found something in your case we couldn't explain. I wanted to ask you about it" he said slowly, watching her to gauge her reaction. "You're digging into my file again?" she said, anger and suspicion seeping into her voice. "No, it's not like that-" he said, shaking his head. "I just…" he sighed, "your records don't show where you've been, where you went after you left here. I wanted to ask you..."

A look of horror crossed her face, which Weller thought was bad enough, until it was replaced by seething anger. He watched her jaw tense and her hand ball up into fists and he remembered uncomfortably that she could almost certainly kill him with her bare hands if she wanted to. Jane looked him right in the eye, voice low as she said it "I suppose that was by design, right Weller?"

"Jane…" he said again, pleading. "Where were you?" he asked again.

She responded quickly, turning to glare at him, green eyes blazing "fuck you Weller, you know where I was"

He paused. "CIA?" he asked, voice shaking. He could taste bile in his mouth, and feel a burn in the back of his throat.

She turned to him, furious, _what was he doing_ she wondered "what, you want the address? I'm pretty sure that place doesn't have one" she said, incredulously.

"Are you OK?" He scanned her whole body, trying to see the marks Roman described, his words still ringing in Kurt's ears. He wanted to grab her, hold her, but he knew she wouldn't stand for it.

Jane could feel herself losing control. The anger was so deep, and she'd been keeping it under wrap for far too long. She wanted to finish this conversation before she really lost her cool. Her voice was still low, but the anger was seeping in more and more as she spoke. She leaned closer to him, glaring as she looked straight in his eyes, "what, are you wondering if they broke me? What it took?" she asked.

He looked at her in horror – "No, Jane! That's not what this is about-" she interrupted him, not interested in his lies "ask your friends for the damn tapes Weller, I'm not reliving this for your fun." she turned on her heel to leave, but he couldn't let her go. He couldn't even believe what she had just said.

"Jane – you think I sent you to the CIA?!" he said, still in shock. "I would never do that to-" he said, watching her violently roll her eyes at him, clearly not believing a word he was saying. He kept talking anyway "You think I –" he sputtered, "Jane, your case was transferred to the Philadelphia FBI office- they said I wasn't objective- there were too many conflicts… And they were right -" he yelled, eyes flashing "I've never been objective when it came to you!" He grabbed her shoulders when he spoke this time "you know that! Please-" She laughed at him, a cold, cynical laugh.

She wanted to kill him at that moment, and he saw it in her eyes, but she held her temper. She paused, and said, quieter this time "you were never objective when it came to **Taylor**."

He looked at her, shoulders slumping. "Why did you lie about that Jane? You told me you remembered…" he said, voice and eyes pleading. "You told me I was Taylor, Kurt. The DNA said I was Taylor. I never felt it, but nothing about my past ever felt right. My own _skin_ didn't feel right. And I _wanted_ to be her… someone with a past, with someone looking for her, missing her. Someone who… " She closed her eyes, almost squinting them closed and shook her head. "There are things you don't know, about me. And I lied to you because if I didn't, they would have killed you." She said, beginning to shake as she spoke. "Who would have killed me Jane?" he asked, but she shook her head and ignored him, "and I thought I _was_ Taylor, so I thought it was just a white lie to make a man on his death bed happy... something small, that also saved **your** life. I'm sorry Kurt. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry for a lot of things."

They both stood in silence, watching each other, trying to feel each other without actually touching. Jane turned her back to him and Kurt thought she was getting ready to run, but she stood silently, not moving, just breathing. The tension and emotion in the room were so thick it felt like an electrical storm.

He almost didn't hear her when she started to speak. "You lied too, you know." "What?" he said, taking one step closer to her. She turned slowly, tears trailing down her cheeks as she looked at Kurt. "You told me it didn't matter who I was before, that I – Jane - was a good person. You told me I could trust you, and things would be OK. And your eyes…" she continued, shaking her head, then looking up to look straight into his eyes "I thought you said more with your eyes." she said, in a whisper. "I thought I was more…" She paused, looking away and shaking her head again, before saying with a stronger voice, "but you never told me you were only saying those things to Taylor." She looked down as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. "You said the words to me, but you only meant them for her." She continued, shaking off the tears, voice strong "So you lied too."

Kurt was left nearly speechless, trying to process what she'd just said. "Jane, I said those things to _you_." He again stepped closer, daring to put one hand on her arm as he did. "And you're right, there was more… that I never said. To you Jane, not Taylor." He leaned down, trying to meet her eyes, but she wouldn't look at him. "And you have to believe me; I would _never_ have sent you to… I would never let anyone hurt you, no matter how angry I was. How could you think I'd do that to you?"

After a pause, she asked slowly, "how could I think anything else? The moment you found out I wasn't Taylor, you arrested me, you pointed a gun at my head Kurt, you locked me up and you sent me to them. You never even spoke to me" she said, the pain in her voice clear and raw.

"Oh God Jane, I'm so sorry, you have to believe me, I never knew."

"When I found out about Taylor, and realized you'd lied to me, I was so angry, I thought…" He trailed off.

"Jane, was it a lie… us?" he asked. He had never been more afraid of any answer in his life.

"No, it wasn't a lie for me" she said simply, without expanding. "But it doesn't matter anymore. I'll help you find the people that did this to Mayfair and me… her…" he watched her flinch and shake her head, obviously struggling with the past her and current her –"I don't know how long it will be before they find me…" she didn't clarify who, or what she thought would happen, but they both understood. "Hopefully I can help make things right before then. You'll have pictures of my tattoos to keep moving forward when I'm gone."

"Jane, we'll keep you safe here" he said, panic starting to make its way into his voice. His head was spinning, and he didn't know how to fix this, but he knew above all else he wouldn't be able to live with himself if anything happened to Jane -if he caused her any more pain.

She looked at him with a sad and knowing smile "you can't promise that Kurt".

She stepped back from him slowly, but stared directly into his eyes. "I'm here to try to make things right, for the mistakes I've made, but I need you to know I'm not going back there. Not ever." He nodded, unable to break their eye contact.

Jane said quietly, "I'm sorry I wasn't her, for you." as she slowly turned. She said one more time, "I'm sorry Kurt" and walked toward the door, not looking back.

"Jane" he pleaded in a whisper as she left.

* * *

 _I hope you enjoyed this chapter, despite all the unhappiness! Please give me your feedback in reviews or via PM._


	5. Chapter 5: The Plan

**Disclaimer: I do not own Blindspot or its awesome characters. I hope you enjoy Chapter 5!**

* * *

 **The Plan**

Weller spent hours processing his conversation with Jane, and all that he'd learned about her over the last few days. He couldn't imagine all she'd been through… _how could one person have to face so much in a single lifetime, and how can she still be willing to come back– putting herself at risk again every day -to make things right for those around her?_ he thought. He was overwhelmed by her, and it sickened him to know she had assumed they were involved in her being harmed. _Yes, she lied, and god knows what else she's done, but they would never condone torture!_ Weller understood now why she had been so detached from the team, and so unwilling to trust anyone since her return, and why she'd been so angry.

And he couldn't get past her seeming acceptance of her fate. She had given up on her own future; she didn't believe she'd have one, and acted as if it didn't matter, almost like she deserved it. _She had been through so much already,_ he thought _._

He decided to get to work making things right, and he knew the team would want to help.

 **Team**

Weller scheduled a mandatory meeting for Zapata, Reade, and Patterson first thing the next morning, where he told them that he'd spoken with Jane, and confirmed what they all feared. He didn't have any other details to share with them _(like where she was, or for how long, or god forbid what had happened while she was there)_ , but told them she thought they had sent her to the CIA.

Zapata noticed that as he said it, Weller grew pale.

No one spoke for minutes, and Weller waited while each member of the team processed what he'd said. One by one he saw tears in their eyes. In Patterson's case, tears were streaming down her cheeks as well.

Zapata was the first to speak, "we have to make this right."

Reade responded skeptically, "Weller, we still don't even know who she is, or why she lied. Are you sure we want to go all in on this?"

Kurt answered clearly, and without hesitation " _whatever_ she did, if she spent three months in a CIA black site, she _more_ than paid for it. And we do know who she is – _I_ know who she is. I don't know who she was before she came to us, or why exactly she lied about Taylor, but I know she saved my life more times than I care to count, and I know she'd do it again. And I know it's my turn to take care of _her_." Reade nodded in agreement, "definitely."

Patterson jumped in next "how can she ever trust us – Weller, did she believe you when you told her we didn't know?" Weller looked at Patterson for a moment as he thought about it. "I think she considered it, but I'm not sure. She acted like she didn't care - like she didn't care about _anything_ anymore…" _And that's what scares me,_ he thought. The team nodded slowly in agreement.

But Weller wasn't done; he told the team about his plan, and asked for their help. When they left the conference room, they were all ready to do whatever they needed to bring their plan to life, and make things right for their friend.

 **Jane Part II**

Weller hadn't spoken with Jane since the last conversation in his office, and he was nervous, not certain exactly how they'd left things. There was always so much between them, and things felt unsettled after last night's conversation.

He found Jane at her computer mid-afternoon. Looking at her, he wondered how one person could have this kind of pull on him, even when she wanted nothing to do with him. As he approached he felt an actual smile on his face, not the stressed one he wore yesterday and hoped it was a good sign. "Jane?" he said softly. She turned, obviously surprised, and gave him a questioning look.

She also felt uncomfortable after their conversation yesterday, uncertain where they'd left things. She'd spent all night thinking about what he said; _he sounded so sincere, so shocked when she accused him of sending her to the CIA._ It still pained her to imagine he did that to her. That _Kurt_ did that to her… _or did he?_ While she'd given up on almost everything, she still felt the loss of what they had, and what they might have had, if things had been different.

But as she told him yesterday, it didn't matter anymore.

She shook herself out of her thoughts, and turned back to Kurt. "Hi" she said, trying to read him. She was surprised to see him smiling, and what looked like a real smile. "Can we talk?" he asked.

 **Health & Safety**

They walked to his office where he had coffee waiting for her. "One of the perks of my new position" he added, smiling shyly. "You take it black?" he asked. She nodded "thanks" she said as he poured her cup and handed it to her.

Once she sat down, he decided to get right to it. They'd always been direct with each other, neither of them interested in small talk. _There was just too much between them_ he thought. "Jane, I wanted to say again that I'm sorry for what happened… he said, looking down and shaking his head. When he looked back up at her his eyes they were glistening, and his voice shaking slightly, I should never have approved your transfer, and I should have…. I should have protected you." "Kurt-" she interrupted but he held up his hand, wanting to continue.

"I can't even imagine what you went through, and I want you to know I'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe and make this right. I can't change what happened, but I can do something now" he said, voice growing strong.

She had no doubt about his sincerity as she looked at his face, in his eyes, as he said it.

"I've got a few things lined up already, but I want this to be your decision" he said, with a gentle smile on his face. "You've had enough decided for you in this lifetime, so I'm going to offer you everything I can and let you decide what you want to do, what feels right to you. I know you don't trust us – trust me – right now, and I respect that. So you're in control of all of this." Jane sat silently, not knowing what to say, or what to expect. "Ok" she said tentatively, not sure what to expect.

"Ok. First, you need to be safe, and feel safe. I know you hated being in protective custody, but I think it makes sense for you to come back." He saw her face drop at this recommendation but continued "Instead of one of our existing safe houses, Zapata found an apartment that would be rented for you; it would feel like a real home not a… well, not a safe house. Plus, that offers more security for you as well, since there's no history of the new location for anyone to trace" he added smiling slightly.

"For security, you can select your own agents for protective duty. I don't know if there are any you liked before, or that you felt most comfortable with, but whoever you want to have assigned is yours, just tell me. And you get to call the shots on where you go and what you do; they're there to keep you safe, not lock you in" he added, hoping desperately that she'd accept this offer. "If there's any other issue, just let me know and we'll fix it" he said, watching her reaction. So far, she seemed mostly surprised, and he was hopeful that at least she hadn't rejected it outright.

"Kurt, I don't know what to say" she started "just think about it" he interrupted. "We need you, Jane," _I need you,_ he thought, "and you deserve to be safe." She nodded slowly, looking away from him, "I'll think about it."

"Ok, good. And think about who you'd want for protective detail too" he added, hoping she was warming to the idea. "Next, your health..." he said gently. He knew he needed to tread gently on this topic, and was concerned she was going to shut him out completely.

Jane put her coffee down and turned him with a suspicious look, warning him with her eyes. He slowly went to sit down next to her, leaving distance between them but getting closer. "Jane, I don't know what you've been through – and I'm not asking you to tell me if you don't want to" he added quickly, "you're one of the strongest people I've ever met, but you're also one of the most selfless people, and I know the last person you worry about is yourself." He gently put his hand on her arm, rubbing gently, hoping she would allow this "please, let me help" he said softly, not breaking eye contact.

Again, Roman's voice echoed through his head, _and you'd see the cuts, and the burns, and the bruises that don't heal.._.

He continued "Dr. Borden's available to provide medical care for you – whatever you need- or he'll recommend another doctor outside the agency if you're more comfortable with that. In either case, we'll of course cover any bills. What you went through…" he said, again looking down and shaking his head, then looking back up to her "I'm so sorry Jane… after what I'm sure you went through, you may need help getting back to normal physically, but we'll help you every step of the way, whatever you need."

"Thank you Kurt, that's very kind" she replied quietly.

He paused, trying to gauge her reaction. He couldn't read her right now at all, so just decided to keep going. He was more convinced than ever to get her the help she would need.

"Also, Dr. Borden has offered his services to you… to talk. He's known you since you came to us... I know there's a lot you're working through right now, and he wanted you to know he'll clear his schedule for whatever you need, whenever you need it." Kurt paused, knowing he was on unsteady ground right now. "Of course, if you prefer we can offer recommendations for another doctor. And it goes without saying that your sessions will be kept completely confidential. I've even arranged to have all notes and records kept offsite, if that would help."

Kurt was really going above and beyond, and Jane simply didn't know how to react, how to feel. She'd spent so much time being angry she simply didn't know how to process this, and was overwhelmed by this obvious act of kindness. It was beyond unexpected, and she just sat there trying to process it all. While she did, she felt warmth radiating from Kurt's hand, still gently rubbing her arm. It had been so long since she'd felt this feeling, she'd almost forgotten it. She spent her life, and especially the last three months, preparing for fights; this kindness was just too much for her.

Kurt watched her as she looked at him, obviously trying to process this all. Her face was slightly flushed and her eyes were swimming with emotion, he just couldn't read what emotions they were. He knew he'd thrown a lot at her, but hoped she would accept his offer. After all she'd been through it wasn't much, but it was an important start.

"Please think about it Jane. As I said, it's your decision, but I think we can help. If there's anything you're concerned about, we can fix it." He smiled gently at her, warmth radiating from his eyes, "I hope you know I'm here for you, whatever you need." She nodded, fully believing that he meant it.

"Oh, there's one other thing" he said, dropping his hand from her arm, and beginning to fidget slightly. "um…" he started, trying to find the words. Jane looked at him, wondering what had him so tongue tied. "I don't know what… um…"

 _Jesus -_ _pull it together, Weller_ he yelled in his head.

He sighed gently, "I know when you agreed to work with us again, it was contingent upon Roman being included. And I know you have history together. But I don't know… um, I don't know what your relationship is – and I don't need to. I know you prefer to keep some things private and that's OK. But I want to let you know that if we need to accommodate him in any way it's not an issue. Just let me know… the apartment and everything…" he said, looking at her nervously "I know he makes you feel safe" he said softly, "I'm happy he's in your life and we'll accommodate whatever you need… um, for him." Jane smiled briefly at Weller's discomfort.

"Thank you, Kurt. I appreciate all you're offering, it means a lot to me." She didn't say anything more right away, but after a moment asked "so the team knows about the CIA?"

"Yeah, they were researching it before I spoke with you yesterday. As I said, we weren't able to put all the pieces together, but they found enough to worry. They all want you to know they're here for you too, I'm sure they'll each want to talk with you, but they've been working all day to help pull some of this together. You're important to them too, Jane."

Jane considered all he'd said, and still overwhelmed said "I don't even know what to say" she said tentatively, "I don't deserve any of this."

"Just say yes Jane, let me – let us – help you" said Kurt softly.

And with a tiny nod, she looked at Kurt and said "yes. Thank you Kurt"

And as she said it, Jane felt some of the anger drain from her, and felt that maybe, just maybe, she had a future to look forward to. Kurt had a huge smile on his face and as she looked at him, she saw the same look in his eyes she remembered from the locker room, only this time she was certain what it meant; it was hope.

Instinctively, Kurt leaned over and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Thank you Jane," he said through his smile, "thank you."

* * *

 _Thanks for reading - I appreciate reviews and all your feedback! Thanks again!_


	6. Chapter 6: New Beginnings

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Blindspot or its characters**

 _A/N: This feels more like two chapters, but I didn't like any of the break points so I left as one. I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **Trust & Friendship**

Over the next few days, each member of the team spoke with Jane and started the process of repairing their relationship in their own way. It would be a long road, with bumps along the way for each of them, but they were working as a team again, and were committed to strengthening things over time.

At the end of that week, Jane moved into her new apartment, with agents she trusted outside, and an agent she trusted by her side. Weller was excited to take her to her new home, and was having a difficult time maintaining his serious exterior. Being around Jane had a way of making him want to smile these days.

He opened the door for her and offered her the key, "welcome home Jane" he said, stepping aside with a smile and a nod of his head, his eyes never leaving her face. As she walked in, he heard her gasp, which only made his smile widen.

The team had painted and furnished the new home for her, with no detail ignored. It was beautiful, and felt like everything she could have wanted: calm, warm, and as soon as she walked in, she felt like she was home.

It was exactly the way Kurt Weller made her feel.

Kurt pointed things out as they walked around the apartment. "Flowers are from Sara, she says gerbera daisies are the happiest flowers" he said chuckling, "and the clock was Patterson's idea – she thought the honeycomb pattern looked like that tattoo she likes on your hand. The games over there are also obviously from her, although you're going to have to ask her what they are" he added, chuckling again.

They walked a bit more, as Jane looked around at everything, feeling overwhelmed. Kurt saw her notice the bookshelf, and said "you probably haven't had a lot of time for reading, but some day…." he looked at her and smiled "bookshelf's filled with things we thought you might like, different types of books so you can decide what type's your favorites." She glanced quickly through them, excited to look more later. He pointed to the antique world map on the wall, "Reade picked that out… something old to go with the new" Kurt said with a cryptic smirk, glancing away.

They continued exploring, with Jane feeling more and more overwhelmed with the thought and kindness throughout. Kurt could feel her emotions and looked at her before she started to speak "I don't think I've ever had a real home" she said quietly, looking around. Kurt smiled gently at her, "Jane, you have a home with us."

Jane had never seen eyes that looked the way his did, that spoke the way his did. She was lost for a moment in the honesty and kindness she saw in them. Kurt wrapped her in a hug and she felt tears starting to form in her eyes, as she buried herself in the smell and warmth of his chest, relaxing there, and enjoying the feel of calm he brought her. She had never expected to feel this again.

They stood there for a lingering moment, and he leaned back, slightly loosening his arms so he could see her face, "you good?" he asked. She nodded, "good" she said simply, hoping her voice wouldn't fail her.

"I'm glad you like it" he said stepping back, but rubbing her arms a few times before he did. They remained standing a few inches apart, neither wanting distance.

Kurt cleared his throat, reminding himself to stay professional, and stepping back slightly again "um, Agents Simpson and Pierce are outside right now, and they'll be on six hour shifts. They'll let you know when they're changing so you'll always know who's there." Jane noticed that he looked down and started to fidget as he continued "they'll have a key to the apartment, but they'll um, they'll be the only ones this time unless you decide otherwise." Jane smiled, "thanks Kurt." He nodded once in response.

"One other thing" he started, still looking uncomfortable but facing growing serious as he looked at her "do you want a new lead agent assigned for your protective detail? I've been told – many times, actually - I'm not objective with you and… and they're right. And it's not about Taylor, Jane. If there's too much baggage between us, and you feel more comfortable with someone else in charge of this, I can step down. We can assign someone else, someone good." Jane looked at him, a smile creeping across her face before she replaced it with a serious look, "maybe the baggage is what makes you the right guy for the job" she said.

A smile slowly spread across his face, before he nodded, and after a pause said, "OK."

Kurt looked at her for a minute, then said reluctantly, "well, I know it's late, and it's been a long day. I'll let you look around, get settled a little, and I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Ok. And Kurt?" she said as he turned to leave, "thanks again."

"You're welcome Jane" he said, smiling gently and lingering just a moment while he looked at her before he turned to go.

As he opened the door to leave, she heard a beautiful but quiet tinkling sound. "What was that?" she asked, walking toward him with a curious smile spreading across her face. "Ah…" he said, closing the door again to show her the art on the back of her door. It was a beautiful lotus leaf design with delicate leaves that moved slightly with the door. "Good luck charm," he said shyly, "it's supposed to be good for new beginnings."  
"From you?" she asked with an amused smile, "yeah," he said, rubbing the back of his neck, "figured we could all use a little good luck. Plus it makes noise when the door opens" he said smiling.  
"Good night Jane."

Jane continued to look around her new home in awe. She walked through the bedroom, the bathroom, already stocked with all her favorite products, and the kitchen, which was also stocked with her favorite foods and drinks.

As she looked around the kitchen, she saw a gift sitting on the counter, out of eyesight from most of the apartment. She opened it slowly, savoring the moment, and found a beautiful leather sketchbook, just like the one she had before. There was a note tucked inside in Kurt's handwriting that said:

 _A new book for your next chapter_

 _-Kurt_

Jane ran her fingers over the writing and quietly tucked the note back inside with a smile.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Kurt started spending evenings with Jane, either at her new apartment, or at his, or trying out a new restaurant Jane hadn't yet tried. They were busy with cases too, but over time, they went from occasional outings to being together more often than they were apart. And the bond between them only grew stronger.

Over time, during these many evenings together, Jane told Kurt about Oscar, and Carter, and eventually Mayfair. She told him about the group's threats to kill him, and she told him what she knew about Cade. She told him about her memories of the past, and her fears about what she might remember. And finally, she told him about the night Oscar tried to erase her memory for the second time, and how she learned she wasn't Taylor, and they both cried. During each of these stories, he held her hand, or her face, or her body the whole time she spoke, and when she was done Kurt was once again amazed at what she had carried on her own, and how much she had been through.

Her stories always ended the same: " _I'm so sorry._ "

They were difficult conversations, but Jane knew she couldn't move forward until she was honest. Kurt was sometimes angry, or felt betrayed but he never wavered by her side. He advocated for her inside the FBI and listened, really listened, to everything she said. And he understood.

To Jane, her stories were tales of her lies, failures and betrayals; but what Kurt heard was different. He heard about her mistakes but he also heard about her bravery against unimaginable odds, and an understandable quest for truth.

Kurt told Jane about his dad's confession, and the night he found Taylor, and the pain he still experiences from it all. And he talked about his family, and his worries, and his new job. And he told her about the isotope test he had ignored, and he told her how ashamed he was that he hadn't been able to face her after he arrested her. And he told her how sorry he was.

But they never spoke about Jane's time with the CIA, and they never spoke about Roman.

The agents on duty told Kurt that after he left in the evenings, Roman often arrived at Jane's. He didn't know if it was every night, and he didn't know why he came _(although he spent way too many hours imagining every scenario)_. Jane never mentioned it, and Kurt never asked. He had promised Jane he'd do whatever was needed to accommodate Roman in her life, in her apartment, and he wouldn't break another promise to her, no matter how his stomach churned imagining their nights together.

* * *

 **Health & Safety, Continued  
**

Kurt always ensured Jane made her appointments with Dr. Borden and any other doctor he recommended. Her physical therapy appointments, scheduled three times a week, were the ones she missed most often. The team's schedule was unpredictable, but Weller did everything possible to accommodate them.

Zapata loved giving Weller a hard time about it, asking "why are you so worried about her flexibility, boss?" with a laugh and glimmer in her eye. She watched them together, and she knew, maybe before they did, what was ahead.

At the end of a long week where everything had gone sideways, Kurt was cooking dinner for the two of them at Jane's place. She was sitting on the bar stool laughing with him as he worked, Kurt enjoying the company and Jane enjoying the view. It was hard to look away from him, and she had no desire to do so.

When she stood up, she grimaced slightly, but Kurt saw it from across the kitchen. "You're hurt?" he asked, with a furrowed brow. "No, just sore; I missed my PT appointments this week, I just need to do some more on my own." Kurt looked at her, not relaxing his expression at all. "Strength and stretching stuff?" he asked. "Yeah, I just can't do a lot of it on my own, so I'm a little sore."

"We'll do it after dinner- I can help, I've done my share of rehab" he answered quickly. "You don't have to-" started Jane before Weller cut her off "we'll do it after dinner, Jane" and from the look in his eye she knew it would be a waste of time to fight him on this.

* * *

 **PT**

Jane returned from the bedroom wearing a loose fitting top and running tights. He'd momentarily frozen at the sight of her, but reminded himself to stay on task.

"Ok, so what's first?" Kurt asked, voice gruff and very serious.

She showed him her exercises, just the ones she couldn't do on her own.  
They started with her shoulders, and she showed him how to how to do the lateral stretch, then moved on to the second exercise, where he stretched her shoulder tightly over her head while standing behind her.

He was leaning in to finish the stretch when he looked down and noticed the first mark, on the back of her shoulder blade. It looked like a burn, but it was just a glance and he couldn't know for sure.

Then they moved to her hips. He stretched her legs and hips, wrapping his arm around her calf and ankle while holding her thigh and leaning into her. Then he grabbed her hip and helped her turn while he leaned over her and pressed against her opposite shoulder.

 _Dear God Weller, hold it together_ , he thought before cursing himself. At this point, Kurt was pretty sure all this close proximity had been a mistake, but he also couldn't imagine many things he'd rather be doing. In fact, this was a little too close to the things that frequently kept him awake imagining. _Focus Weller!_

So he continued his work, on her back this time. She showed him how to press her lower back to increase her range of motion while she turned. As she did the final exercise, her shirt raised up and briefly showing her side and stomach.

Her tattoos were always amazing to see in life, so different from how they appeared in pictures. When they shifted and moved, they were breathtaking. But it wasn't her tattoos that caught his eyes this time; it was the large scar and yellow bruising distorting them.

Kurt looked at her as they finished, tears glistening in his eyes, "Jane…" he said, pleading and asking in a single word. He put together the exercises they had just completed– shoulders, hips and torso- and imagined her injuries. He thought of the injuries he saw, even after all these weeks… _what had she been through?_ he thought, fear gripping his mind.

Jane's first reaction was to hide, to defend, to deny, when she saw the pain and concern in his eyes. But Kurt wasn't going to accept any of that.

He approached her hesitantly, eyes never leaving hers, even as they filled with tears. He pulled her into a warm hug first, melting away any lingering reservations or concerns she had about this man, about sharing everything she had with him.

He pulled back from her, eyes still wide, as he slowly moved one of his hands to the back of her neck, the other one gently holding her side. She found both her hands moving to his waist, pulling him to her. He gently pulled her shirt back and leaned in to her, looking down at the marks on the top of her back. He wrapped his arms tightly around her again, holding her close.

They stood there quietly together, just holding each other for a few minutes, each gaining strength and calm from the other. Kurt pulled away from her, just enough so he could look down at her slowly, watching her lips and watching her eyes, and as her lips curled into a nervous smile, he kissed her gently. The kiss lingered, as he held her there, enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers, her softness surrounding him. And he enjoyed the moment as he blocked out the rest of the pain ahead.

Without a word, he slowly walked her back to the couch, where he gently laid her down. They never broke eye contact, and it was as if there was a conversation between them. He slowly reached for the bottom of her shirt, putting his hand on her skin but watching her face for approval before he moved anything. Jane put her hand on his, saying "Kurt, you don't need to see this" but he leaned down to kiss her softly and silence her words. One hand moved to her face as he did, while the other gently caressed the soft skin of her stomach. He leaned back from her, nodding his head once, asking for permission with his eyes and she nodded her approval. He reached down and slowly raised her shirt over her head. Jane had never seen or experienced such tenderness. His hands and eyes worked in tandem, experiencing her injuries and her trauma.

He saw the scars, and the burns, and the bruises that wouldn't heal, just as Roman had described, just as had haunted him for months. He saw them with his eyes, and he felt them with his hands. And he kissed her. First, the kisses were gentle, apologetic even, but she held his hands to her, kissing him as she moved them across the marks, telling him without words they were OK.

And he explored her body.

He had never met such an amazing woman, and he had never wanted to care for anyone like he wanted to for Jane.

The kisses grew deeper and his hands swifter as he moved them across her body. Within the heat of their bodies she felt him try to possess her pain, as if he could take it from her and carry it for her. She pulled away from him, raising her hands to his face and looking him directly in the eyes. "Kurt, I never wanted you to see this because this isn't your burden. This isn't your fault" she said, even as she watched the tears forming in his eyes. "Jane…." he pleaded again, looking down at her once again. This time, she closed the distance between them, kissing him softly, eyes closed. She tasted like forgiveness and he never wanted to let her go.

They lost themselves in each other's bodies and spent much the next two hours just that way, holding each other and kissing on Jane's new couch. "Do you want to stay?" Jane hesitantly asked. "Yeah," said Kurt "more than anything" he said, again kissing her slowly. He leaned back and looked her in the eyes, searching them for the truth, "and I'll do that as soon as you're ready, not tonight" he said. She let out a quiet sigh as she smiled at him.

Kurt sat up, pulling her with him. He leaned his head to hers until their foreheads touched, closed his eyes slowly and whispered "tell me what happened" as he opened his eyes to look at her again.

Jane's eyes clouded over as she gazed past him with a faraway look. "Kurt…" she said shaking her head. "You spent 25 years suffering for what happened to Taylor, I can't make this your burden too" she said, voice trembling. "Jane, from the moment I met you…. you've been … if you think by closing me off you'll save me from feeling this, you're wrong. Because I see it in your eyes and I feel it already. I think about it all the time, I think about _you_ all the time. I can't change what happened, but I can carry this with you." He leaned forward and kissed her again, "tell me" he said as a whisper on her lips.

"Tell me what happened to your shoulders" he said, just inches away from her face. She looked down, remembering a promise she had made to never again lie to this man, and as tears fell down her cheeks she told him. She told him about hanging from chains until she couldn't feel her arms, and dislocations she had to fix herself after being thrown to the ground in cuffs.

"Tell me about your hips" he whispered, kissing her briefly, cheeks wet with both of their tears. Jane told him of spending nights on the floor in tiny spaces, and leg restraints that weren't long enough.

"Tell me about your body" he said, cupping her face. She looked at him, and as she did, her eyes turned crystal clear and seemed almost to glow. As two tears trailed down her cheeks, she looked at him and simply said "no."

As he looked in her eyes, he understood her; she was protecting him from something he couldn't know, couldn't experience. She had made it through, just barely perhaps, but she was stronger than him in this way. "Jane…" he started to object but she interrupted "no."

He looked at her for a minute, searching her eyes before slowly nodding. He leaned down to kiss each of the tears on her face and each of the marks on her body, wishing he could truly erase each of them and cherishing the beautiful woman he had in his arms.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I think there's one chapter left and hope to get to it before season 2 begins if people are still interested in updates._

 _Reviews and feedback are appreciated!_


	7. Chapter 7: Apologies, Field Trips, Home

**DISCLAIMER:** _I do not own Blindspot or its characters, but I do love them_

 _I'm tying up some loose ends here, and bringing Roman to drop some truth bombs; I hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 **The Other Man?**

Weller was ashamed, but he couldn't stop himself. He had to know if Roman had been to Jane's apartment after he left that night, so he asked her detail. He knew he should have asked Jane, but his ego couldn't stand it. _It was simpler this way_ , he told himself.

The answer he received was less than reassuring. Roman hadn't been there the night Jane told him about her time with the CIA, but he'd been there every night since.

 _Why was Jane spending the night with another man? And what was their relationship?_

Weller reminded himself of his promise: to accommodate Roman in whatever way Jane wanted, whether he liked it or not. But despite the reminder, he knew without a doubt which it was.

* * *

 **Weller Makes it Right with Roman**

Weller was pacing in his office when he looked up and saw Roman walk past. "Roman" he called, hoping to catch him. Roman stopped and looked back at Weller, who waved him to come in.

Weller walked over to close the door, hoping the few extra seconds would give him time to figure out what to say. He flashed back to when Roman had scolded him in the hallway, remembering the look in his eyes when he spoke about Jane.

He offered Roman a seat, then perched uncomfortably on the corner of his desk, crossing his arms on his chest. "I know this is overdue, but I wanted to uh, to thank you for what you said, for calling me out." He paused for a moment, trying to think of the right way to say it, "I wasn't thinking right; my judgement was clouded and… um, thanks for setting me straight, I needed to hear it."

Roman sat there, looking at Kurt, considering what he had just said. His eyes softened just a bit before he replied, "no problem, sir." He paused a moment before continuing, "fair to assume you have your head out of your ass now?" he said, as small smile creeping across his face. "No, I probably wouldn't assume that" Weller replied chuckling, "but I'm straight on a couple of things. Sorry it took so long."

Roman nodded, seeming to consider what Weller said, "happy to help, sir." He stood up, and started toward the door when Weller added, "Roman, one other thing-" Roman turned around to face him again. "I don't know, um, I don't know what your relationship is with Jane, but I know you were there for her when no one else was. And I know you'd do anything to keep her safe." Weller's voice was hoarse as he said it, the emotion he felt obvious to both men. His last words came out as his voice cracked "thank you."

Roman looked at Kurt, a wave of understanding passed between them. "You're welcome" he said simply, and with a single nod of his head, Roman left.

* * *

 **Field Trip**

One day later, Kurt was in his office when Director Pellington walked in. His assistant had called five minutes earlier telling Kurt to be available. "Assistant Director Weller" he said, shaking Weller's hand "nice to see you." "Sir?" replied Weller. Pellington didn't come for social visits, so he waited to hear what was going on. "Assistant Director, a bit of news has come my way about your Jane Doe case, and I'm going to need you to make her disappear for a few days while I sort things out. Can you do that?" he asked. "What kind of news?" asked Weller. "Well, the kind that's way above your paygrade," he said, shooting Weller a warning look, "but let's just say there is another federal agency that is very interested in Jane, and I don't think it's in her best interest that they find her. I need a few days, maybe more, to iron things out with them. Can you make her disappear until then?"

Weller nodded, "yes sir, give me two hours and we'll be invisible." "If you're here in two hours, that agency will be swarming the building, and they're not going to leave without her. Let's avoid that kind of incident, shall we? You've got 20 minutes. There's an unmarked vehicle downstairs, you have communications and a small armory in the trunk" he said, tossing Weller a set of keys "I'll contact you when we've cleared things up. Have a nice trip, Assistant Director" he added with a smile, and Pellington walked out the door." Weller's mind had already put together a plan before he reached the door.

Three minutes later, Kurt finished updating Jane his conversation with Pellington, and asked quietly, "Jane, do you want Roman to come with or an agent, we could bring Reade or Zapata instead?" "No –Roman" she said quickly before adding "no one can trace him, and he…." She paused, trying to find the right words, "we have the same training, and I know Roman would do anything to keep me safe" she said softly, looking back at Kurt. "Ok" he said, "10 minutes, back here?" Jane nodded.

They drove for four hours, before turning down a gravel road surrounded by pine trees. Jane rolled down the window and immediately smiled, looking over at Kurt, "it smells so good here, where are we?" "Old family cabin" he answered. "It's pretty rustic, but it should have what we need for a few days." They had stopped for food and basic supplies a few towns up the road. It was just starting to get dark, but Jane could see the cabin ahead.

Jane, Roman and Weller got settled quickly. Kurt offered to make dinner, and both Jane and Roman thanked him. The other two went outside to look around and get a sense of the area before it was dark. As he was cooking, Weller looked out the window at saw the other two together. He couldn't help but notice the easy calm they had with each other as they walked around. He thought about it as he worked, and when he looked outside again, he saw Jane and Roman off to the side by the pine trees. They were obviously in the midst of an important conversation; he could read it in their body language. At the end, Jane nodded and looked down, and Roman responded by gently wrapping her in his arms. He said something more to her, which made Jane smile and look up at him. They both nodded and started walking back toward the cabin. Weller looked away, mind spiraling, as he put final touches on dinner.

They spent the rest of the night together quietly, the tension was high in all of them, and each busied themself in a different way. They discussed the tactical details for the night ahead - one person on watch at all times; Weller would take first watch, then Roman would relieve him and since Jane was a morning person anyway, she'd take over when she woke up.

Roman offered to make coffee, and Kurt agreed, thankful for a few minutes alone with Jane. It was confusing seeing her with Roman, and Kurt had spent most of the day trying to keep his emotions in check.

Jane approached Kurt slowly, "hey" she said, sitting down beside him and wrapping his hand in hers. She smiled softly at him, knowing exactly what was going through his mind. She'd felt the tension in him all day. "I know this arrangement is a little strange for you, and we haven't spoken about… Roman and I" she started, softly.

Kurt looked down, not meeting her eyes. He was scared to death of what he was about to hear and couldn't bear to look at her. He clenched his jaw, preparing for the worst, but steeling himself for whatever she was about to say.

Jane reached down and put her hand on the side of his face, turning him softly to look at her. She kissed him gently, and when she did, Kurt felt the walls of restraint tumble inside him. He quickly wrapped his hands around her, deepening the kiss, searching for what she was going to tell him before he heard the words. Jane pulled him to her and kissed him back, but calmed him at the same time. After a minute, she gently pushed their faces apart and smiled as she looked Kurt in the eyes.

"Kurt… Roman grew up with her – me, before I was Jane. They looked out for each other, and took care of each other, and… I remember him, from before." Kurt looked at her, confused. "Do you remember when I had the memory of children, in a basement, and I thought it was the night I was taken?"

Kurt nodded "when we were tracking Dodi" he said.

"Yes," she said "one of the children I remembered seeing down there was Roman, had the same scar on his face. I don't remember growing up, but he found me after I escaped from the CIA, and he helped me."

Kurt felt waves of relief coursing through his body. His face flushed a bit with the emotion he was feeling. "I thought…" he started, letting out a sigh. Jane smiled, "I'm sorry I didn't talk with you about him, us, but I didn't want to betray his trust. He was part of the organization we're trying to destroy…but Kurt; he's the closest thing I have to family."

Kurt grabbed her and tightly wrapped her in his arms, willing himself to keep his emotions under control, but Jane could feel him shaking slightly with emotion. Jane wrapped her arms around him as well, slowly rubbing circles on his back as she kissed his jaw and neck softly.

They were like that when Roman returned. He smiled gently at the two of them as he approached. Whatever he thought of Kurt Weller, he could see what was between the two in front of him. They slowly released from each other, smiling shyly. Roman handed Kurt a hot cup of coffee, with a single nod and a slight smile, "careful, it's hot," he said, walking outside to give the two of them a few more minutes alone.

Jane paused, then smiled at Kurt and let out a sigh. "Kurt…" she said, "there's something else you should know before tonight…. you'll probably find out anyway" she said, frustration seeping into her voice. _What else could she possibly have to tell me_ , he wondered. "Dr. Borden says it's normal…. but, I sometimes have nightmares" She looked sideways, avoiding his glances. "Anyway, don't let it bother you if I do, OK?"

"Ok" he said, "of course." Weller didn't think much of the request, it seemed pretty normal after all she'd been through. Jane slowly stood up, laying her hand on his shoulder as she walked by, "goodnight" she said and kissed him one final time before heading to bed.

Roman returned a few minutes later. After tidying up a few things, he told Kurt he was also heading to bed and would see him around two. Kurt settled in for a few hours of quiet while keeping a watchful eye on everything around the cabin. Everything was going well until about 1:30, when Kurt heard noises from the bedroom, and what sounded like quite a struggle, possibly multiple intruders. Could someone have gotten in, gotten to Jane? His heart dropped as he ran to the bedroom. Kurt crashed through the door, adrenaline spiking, just as Jane, still in her bed, having a nightmare, started screaming, begging them to stop, while violently thrashing in her sleep. Roman grabbed Kurt as soon as he entered the room, pushing him against the wall "No – wait!" he said "don't touch her!" he said urgently. Roman stepped away and approached Jane from behind, speaking to her softly, offering reassurances but not touching her at first. She was still shaking and rolling around but seemed to calm a bit, and Roman slowly stepped closer while Kurt watched, frozen in place. Roman kept talking to Jane, assuring her as he did, and eventually crouched down next to her bed still talking. He started rubbing her back gently, telling her she was safe, that nothing was going to happen. After a few minutes, she calmed and seemed to go back to a restful sleep.

Roman and Kurt stayed there for a few more minutes before Roman looked up and said quietly, "not too bad tonight, she's been doing better." Kurt looked at him in shock, _that wasn't too bad_? he thought. Roman smiled gently as he stood up. He walked over to Kurt, still by the door and put his hand on his shoulder, "come on, I'll tell you about it." Kurt glanced back at Jane, sleeping now, and followed Roman back to the living room.

Roman sat down quietly, signaling for Kurt to do the same. He looked down for a moment, considering his words. Without looking up, he started "they've been better over the last few weeks, they aren't as violent and she gets through them faster… I'm guessing you've never seen her dream like that before?" He looked up at Weller, just to see him shake his head "no." Roman nodded, "well, growing up we all had 'em, way worse than that." Roman paused, looking away and losing himself in a cloud of memories. "She doesn't remember… growing up – she's not supposed to" he added, almost to himself. Roman paused and looked up "it wasn't exactly a fairy tale. We all had nightmares, some worse than others. She was always really good at calming people down, she just knew…" he drifted off, a small smile crossing his face before it faded. "Anyway, they've been getting better but… if you're the only one around when it happens, don't touch her right away. She's fighting back- she was always too brave for her own good, that never changed did it?" he added with a chuckle, looking up at Kurt to make sure he was listening "but she'll kick your ass before you know what happened if you touch her. Just talk to her until she calms down a little, when she's not throwing punches, move slowly; talk to her the whole time. She'll recognize your voice, which will help. Make sense?" he asked. Kurt nodded.

They were quiet for a minute before Kurt asked quietly, "it's about the CIA?" "Probably" said Roman. "I don' think she dreams about the stuff from before. She also…" Roman trailed off, pursing his lips and looking for the right words again. "Sometimes she calls out for… people. That's probably for her to say" he finished, cutting himself off.

Kurt considered what he'd said, and started talking softly "I dream about it too- about the CIA. I can feel what's happening to her, and hear her, but I can't do anything to help…" he trailed off, shaking his head. "I should have known, should have stopped it and I didn't." He fell silent, lost in a swirl of emotion.

Roman looked at Kurt and said, without hesitation and as clear as day, "Weller, what Jane dreams is…" he shook his head, "she's processing what happened to her there… and all she lost. I mean, besides the physical, she lost everything -everyone she knew or loved turned on her, she lost her sense of self, _again_ – can you imagine? And... no offense, but if that's the worst of your dreams…" Roman chuckled once, sadly, almost in annoyance, and shook his head and looked down, "maybe that's one of the reasons they chose you; even your imagination doesn't take you to places as ugly as what we've lived- what she's lived through."

After a minute of no response from Weller, Roman continued, "didn't you ever wonder how she made it through _three months_ with the CIA – the worst they could do to her?" Roman asked, looking directly at Kurt. Kurt looked up "what?" he asked. "Didn't you ever wonder… I mean, she was able to get out on her own. And she was angry, but she was still functioning normally after all she went through. Jesus, the first thing she did was to try to help you assholes – sorry" he said, catching himself, "didn't you ever wonder about that? I mean, she's strong, but…"

Kurt looked at him, realization dawning on him "oh my God…" he said, growing pale "procedural memory? She's been tortured before?" Roman nodded, "we were all trained… to withstand it, from when we were kids." Kurt looked at Roman, "thank God she forgot some things" Roman said, almost under his breath, "but her body remembered, and maybe it saved her" Weller said quietly. Roman shrugged. "She's amazing, isn't she? But we both know that didn't come free."

Kurt considered what Roman said quietly for a few minutes, not able to put words together. He looked up at Roman and said, voice hoarse, "I'm going to…" glancing back at the bedroom. Roman nodded, understanding. _Maybe she was right about Weller; maybe he's not as bad as I thought,_ he thought as he watched the other man struggle to pull himself together.

Kurt rose and walked to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and splashing cold water on his face. He walked into the bedroom and saw Jane. She looked so small, and peaceful… He saw her chest gently rising and falling. Looking around the room he knew he should take the other bed, but he didn't.

He needed to hold her, feel her next to him, and he hoped she would understand.

He took off his shoes and belt, then his shirt, and slowly climbed into bed with Jane, trying not to wake her. He slowly approached her, first wrapping an arm around her waist, then inching forward as he dropped his head to the pillow behind to her. He could smell the shampoo on her hair, and the let himself be enveloped in Jane- her scent, her sound, her warmth, her feel. He felt her heart beating calmly, and listened to her breath, and felt the soft skin on her stomach quietly raising and falling. He pulled her closer and tucked his head into her. He smiled, feeling her body next to him, and as he did, he felt his own pulse return to normal, his muscles relax, and his breathing slow. Kurt let out a quiet sigh, he knew he would never let this woman go; he loved her too much.

Kurt fell slowly to sleep, holding Jane next to him.

Jane awoke with a sense of confusion. _Where was she? What was going on?_ Her pulse immediately jumped. She felt the warmth and calm all around her, but it was unfamiliar. She turned slightly to look beside her, and saw Kurt sleeping, a small smile on his face. She quietly turned to face him, enjoying the feel of him next to her. She watched him sleep, enjoying the slow sound of his breathing and the feel of his arm wrapped around her, and she quietly licked her lips and pressed her body closer to him.

The movement woke him, and he slowly opened his eyes and smiled at Jane. "Good morning" he said. She enjoyed the feel of her whole body pressing against him, hip to chest, legs pressing against his. She relaxed and leaned in to kiss him, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her under her shirt.

All they needed was that single spark, and both were moving quickly, losing their breath, having held too much back. Kurt pulled Jane on top of him, hands exploring the expanse of her skin under her shirt. He groaned at the feel of her on top of him, and ran his hand from her waist to her neck, feeling nothing but skin. He rolled her over, pushing her into the pillows with a smile. He pulled her shirt from her, leaving just a small pair of cotton shorts, and leaned back just enough to see her. Jane would never forget the look on his face at that moment, pure want and pleasure. She pressed herself to him and kissed him hard, pushing them both on.

Just as she did, Kurt leaned back "Jane…" he said hoarsely. "I want you, but I want you all to myself." He looked at her with pure heat, and she melted below his glance. "You have me" she said, voice low, "right now" she added, looking at him. _Oh God_ he thought, looking at her. "Not here, I don't want to be looking over my shoulder, and I want it to be just us." She nodded, and they both leaned forward, kissing each other and enjoying the feel of their bodies pressed together for a few more minutes. Slowly, they pulled away, eyes still thick with want, and prepared for the day.

Roman saw them in the hallway as they came out of the bedroom, and tried not to smile. "Morning," he said, pretending not to notice the looks between them or the red of their lips.

* * *

 **Going Home**

36 hours later, Weller received the call that they could return to New York. It had been difficult for Kurt and Jane to remain focused, but both knew the consequences if anything were to happen, so they did, for the most part.

Roman mentioned he was surprised that Jane hadn't had any nightmares the second night, but he missed the look and the smile that passed between Kurt and Jane as he said it. Jane had spent much of the night in Kurt's arms, tangled up with him really, and there were few places she felt safer.

Upon return to the NYO, Weller was called to Director Pennington's office, who was waiting impatiently for him. Before he went, Weller looked at Roman and said "Thank you, for everything" shaking his hand. Roman nodded, glanced at Jane, and walked towards the locker room. Weller paused just a moment before he turned to Jane and said quietly, right next to her ear, "When I'm done, you and me…" when he leaned back to look at her, there was an unmistakable heat in his eyes, and Jane felt her face flush. She looked at him, and a mischievous smile spread slowly across her face.

Kurt paused, wanting to do any number of things running through his mind instead of walking away, but he knew Pennington was waiting. He gave Jane a small smile and quickly went to find the Director.

The brief with Pennington took forever; at least it seemed to Weller. 90 minutes later, he was walking the halls, looking for Jane. He couldn't find her so decided to return to his office, where he found Jane sleeping peacefully on his couch. She was curled up with a sweatshirt he had in his office, her black hair framing her face. Kurt felt a wave of emotion roll through him as he looked at her, thinking, _God, she is beautiful_ as he looked at her. He thought back to all they had been through over the past couple months, and thought about all she'd been through on her own before that. _How can someone who had been through so much still be the kindest, warmest, and most amazing woman I've ever met_? he wondered. Kurt slowly walked over to her and knelt by her side. He pushed her hair back softly from her face, leaving his hand on the side of her head. He kissed her gently, and as she slowly opened her eyes and looked at Kurt, he looked into her green eyes and knew – without a doubt - that he wanted to spend the rest of his life taking care of her, and exploring all that this amazing woman could offer.

 _If she'd let him; this woman is way out of my league,_ he thought _._

As Jane woke up, she saw Kurt looking at her, a warm sparkle in his eyes, and felt his hand on her head. She let her thoughts wander for just a moment, thinking back to all they'd been through, and how they found their way back to one another. She smiled thinking of how he always made her feel, and wondered how someone so strong could also be so kind, and warm. She knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life taking care of him, and exploring and enjoying all the ways he was wonderful. _If he'd let her; this amazing man is way out of my league_ she thought as she looked at him.

They smiled at each other for a minute as Jane woke up, each enjoying their thoughts and emotions, and enjoying the look of the other as they did the same. Kurt slowly reached out his hand to Jane, and with a smile asked "ready to go home?" Jane smiled widely as she looked at him, green eyes twinkling, and grabbed his hand. "Let's go" she said as she took his hand and led him toward the elevator. They both walked a little quicker than normal, a quiet giggle between them.

Reade saw the pair out of the corner of his eye and tried to catch Weller as he stepped into the elevator. As the door closed, Reade stood there momentarily frozen. His eyes must have been playing tricks on him… because first, Weller never smiled like that, and second, as the elevator closed it looked like the two had turned to each other, both smiling, almost like they were going to… and third, thinking back, he was pretty sure Jane was holding Weller's hand as she pulled him to the elevator.

Reade shook his head and walked away with a smile. At the same time, Kurt and Jane were in the elevator, doing everything Reade imagined and then some on the ride to Kurt's car. They had both wasted too much time apart and didn't want to waste another minute.

And they didn't.

* * *

 _Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed this chapter and the story!_

 _I wanted to tie up a few of the loose ends in this chapter (Roman, and Jane's nightmares, and of course Jeller) and was excited to bring Roman back into the story and dialog. He's so fun to play with._

 _I wrote some really fun dialog between Roman and Kurt that I had to cut (about why pre-Jane picked Kurt), but hope I can work it into another story. I love these two together._

 _Please let me know what you think – I appreciate all the reviews and feedback._

 _I hope you enjoyed the story – my first fanfic!_


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